Turning the 3 Setbacks to Success
So let me start by asking you this question, how many times have you said you were going to do something, but you didn’t follow through or lacked the consistency to experience the level of success and fulfillment that you wanted?
You might have gone out and set yourself some health goals, maybe some fitness goals, maybe some finance goals or even some career goals. You started off with the very best intentions but within a matter of months, weeks or even days you reverted back to what you have always done.
So for me I’ve been working in the field of health and human performance for the past 20 years and I think when you’ve worked in this industry long enough, and you work with the amount of people that I have, you begin to notice patterns.
The purpose of this blog really is to share what I have experienced over the past 20 years. Specifically, what are the three common setbacks that I see that prevent us from achieving success and what we can do about it.
So how can we go from set back to success? What are three things that I believe could make a big difference to achieving success?
The first thing is seeing setbacks as failure. It’s when we are presented with obstacles physically, mentally or emotionally we perceive this type of feedback from our environment to be a failure.
So what’s the solution? Well I truly believe and I personally run the mantra, that there is no such thing as failure, it’s only feedback. So we want to look at these setbacks as an opportunity to learn and grow! One of the things that I ask my children daily is “what did you learn?” Our mind is a learning machine and if we can take the learning’s from all the setbacks we will change the meaning and change our association to the experience. So I would encourage you to ask yourself, “what is there to learn?” The more we learn the easier it is to move beyond any perceived failure and towards success.
The second common setback is BLAME! Blaming people, places or things for the reason why things aren’t showing up in our lives in the form that we want them to. So the solution to this is easy, but as I said the action isn’t. It’s taking full responsibility seeking solutions and possibilities in everything. Why might blame culture be prevalent in workplaces and society in general? One reason is that our mind is conditioned towards focusing on the negative. The second thing is that it’s just easy. It’s easy to blame. So everything we say becomes a suggestion to that part of our mind that’s responsible for our behavior. So it’s just so important that we take full responsibility for what it is that we are noticing around us. Instead of blaming we should consistently seek to find solutions.
The moment we notice our mind going towards blame, we need to be very, very conscious and redirect our focus back towards responsibility and focusing on the results that we want in our life. What happens here is once we start noticing the benefits of changing our focus in this way we begin to program our mind towards the same thing, because it’s easier. When we link more and more pain to blame, we will be less likely to do it. Because as I said, our mind is a pleasure pain machine, it will do whatever it can to avoid pain and move towards pleasure.
Link more pain to blame and overtime you will not do it.
The third setback is that we forget our WHY. Watch Simon Sinek’s video, The Golden Circle for insights into the reason why we must communicate and act based on our WHY.
We must become very conscious of what inspires us. What makes us feel really good? What fills us with that great sense of passion?
Question, what aspects of your life always raises your energy and focus even during times of fatigue? What is it that no-one needs to remind you about? What do you place in your surroundings? What conversations grab your attention? These are signs of what truly inspires you, your WHY.
So once we identify what we value, its then about connection. Connected all setbacks to our why.
One of the biggest disconnections from our why that I see is during people quests to lose weight.
When we don’t link our thoughts and feelings to our why it will be inevitable that we will fall victim to short term quick fixes and beat ourselves up in the process.
I had a client who had a lifelong struggled with his weight, which effected his self-esteem and self-confidence. For decades he devalued himself as every attempt to lose weight ended up being a perceived failure. However once we where able to link the benefits to loosing weight to the love he had towards his two young girls he began to find it easier to make the decision that would not only lead him towards achieving his ideal weight but empowered him to live the life the way he wanted to live it.
The three setbacks mentioned in this blog all have one thing in common, responsibility! Take responsibility for our thoughts, our feelings, our decisions and our actions. When we do this we will move beyond blame, we will perceive failure as an opportunity to learn and consistently look for ways to live from our why.
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